Ways To Enhance Your Marriage
1. Learn your spouse’s love language Dr. Gray Chapman “5 Love Languages”
a.Words of affirmation
Prov 18:21 NKJV Death & life are in the power of the tougue
b.Acts of Service
1 John 3:18 GNT My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action. cooking, laundry, vacumn, getting gas, opening doors, getting the car washed, dishes, taking care of the children
c.Gifts –
Psalms 37:21b NLT “but the godly are generous givers”
Examples : flowers, candy, clothes, jewelry
d.Quality Time – Spend time with your spouse just the two of you doing whatever you like to do. Make sure your spouse feels they are the priority before anything else.
e.Physical Touch – If this is something your spouse appreciates then make sure you do it.
Proverbs 5:18 & 19 NLT 18“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you, Rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breast satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.
Ask God to help you to love your spouse the way they want to be loved using their love language. Also, keep in mind that your spouse’s love language may change.
On occasion ask your spouse – Has your love language changed? On a scale of 1-10 how much love do you feel coming from me? – Discuss this so you can meet their expectations
Once you know your spouse’s love language make sure you fill them with the love language they need daily – choose to give them what they need
It is also important that we learn the love language of our children even if we have a blended family because this will help us to love them effectively. All our children have different personalities and likewise different love languages.
Another thing we can do to enhance our marriage relationship is
1. Make a list of things that you enjoy doing together or want to do together and make sure you do one of those things weekly – this may be considered date night
Example- take a walk in the park, roller skating, bowling, bicycle riding, motorcycle riding, shop for lingerie
2. Alternate doing something that your spouse loves to do – even if it isn’t something you enjoy
3.If you and your wife both work or spend time apart during the day, ask your spouse how was your day and listen intently to their response with no devices around to distract you
4.Communication is very important for married couples – don’t assume you understand what they are saying to you – ask them to explain
a.purchase some adult games for married couples and instead of watching television at night, spend time communicating with each other on a deeper level and learning more about your spouse
~Tonight let’s talk – card game with numerous questions you can use to stimulate a conversation and find out different things about your spouse
~Monogamy – board game that allows you to serve one another in different ways immediately and throughout the week
5.Pray together and for each other – make the time to pray. Share the couples prayer we pray daily
Couples Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the spouse you have given me and all her wonderful qualities. Help me look for the good in my spouse every day and overlook any perceived flaws. Help us stay committed to one another and keep us both from temptation. Guide our future to glorify You and keep us healthy so we can work for your Kingdom. When we disagree, help us to approach one another with humility and respect. Deepen our communication and friendship so our relationship is stronger than ever. Help us guide our children and our entire family closer to You each day. May we put You first, and is turn see our love grow. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
6.Make sex a priority in your marriage – discuss a schedule that works for you both and stick to it.
1 Cor 7:3-5a NLT
3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.
4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife
5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree
7.Make time for intimacy with your wife – most women love affection & intimacy – make sure you are affectionate toward her throughout the day
Read the Song of Soloman is a good book to read together throughout your marriage
8.Be each other’s strength
a.As a couple we usually are not strong at the same time. When your spouse is struggling with something- be there to encourage them and build them up.
b.Let them know there is nothing that you can’t conquer together. You may not always get the result you want – but at least you have each other to share in the experience
Examples: loss of a loved one, job losses, postpartum depression, mental anquish, medical issues
9.Keep a forgiving heart – and give your spouse the benefit of the doubt for their shortcomings and mishaps
Eph 4:32 GNT
Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.
a.Forgiveness does not destroy our memory or our emotions – take the bad memory and the feelings associated with that memory to God
10.Be quick to apologize for what have done wrong – but after the apology put action behind the apology
a.With an apology make sure you show feelings of regret, accept responsibility for what you did wrong, offer to make it right by asking the spouse “what can I do to make this right”, and be willing to do whatever it takes to restore the relationship, express the desire to change, request the forgiveness of your spouse.
11.Surround yourself with other couples who share your values, beliefs, and morals
Prov 13:20 GNT
Keep company with the wise and you will become wise. If you make friends with stupid people, you will be ruined.
- Maintain your physical appearance – put some effort into fixing yourself up for your spouse even when you are not going out
- Tell your spouse good morning every morning
- Attend a Christian marriage retreat or conference together
- Read a Christian book on marriage
- Send your spouse daily encouraging text, emojis, songs, poems
- Kiss each other passionately
- Respect your spouse’s opinions
- Don’t disrespect your partner in public or private
- Find ways to compliment your spouse on a daily basis
- Show appreciation for things your spouse does and thank them.
Examples: thanks for folding the clothes, keeping gas in my car, washing my car, sweeping the floor, helping with various husband & wife duties, picking up the kids, helping with the homework, shopping for groceries, planning date night, etc.
