7 Foundations of a Healthy Marriage Part 5
Forgiveness – B
Sunday, September 8, 2019
I. 7 Foundations of a Healthy Marriage
A.Understanding the Importance of Forgiveness (Review)
1. Family disputes are inevitable: Cain kills Abel; Noah and his son Canaan issue; Abram and Lot dispute; Abram, Sarai & Hagar dispute; Jacob and Esau dispute; Jacob, Leah, & father-in-law Laban issue; Jacob, Simeon, Levi and Dinah issue; Joseph and his brothers issue.
2.(Col. 3:13 NLT) we must forgive!
a.Forgiveness – is a choice not an emotion; to pardon, to free, to release of debt.
Forgiveness releases:
~The Debt to God.
~People to God and His righteous judgment.
~Me from being held hostage by tormentors.
~And restores love.
~Healing
b.Un-forgiveness:
~Gives place to the devil
~Is poison in the heart.
c.Forgiveness is NOT trust, avoidance or forgetting.
B.Forgiveness in Marriage
1.Forgiveness in marriage mainly involves trespasses (sin/iniquities/trespasses).
a.Sin – Transgression of divine law; a willful or deliberate violation of moral law.
b.Iniquities – gross injustice, inequity or wickedness
c.Trespasses – an unlawful act causing injury to a person or property; wrongful entry upon the land of another; an encroachment or intrusion, offense, sin or wrong.
~Football off-sides is encroachment
~No Trespassing – Private Property
2.Trespasses are usually the issue in marriage.
a.We trespass on one another’s opinions, thoughts, ways of doing things, view on processing events.
C. Confrontation
1.(Matt. 18:15-17 MSG)
~Preparation – Confrontation – Reconciliation
2.Preparation
a.Value healthy relationships more than our feelings of comfort.
~We need each other!
~Strained relationships will naturally separate without work.
b.Confront your own heart before you confront someone’s behavior. (Matt. 7:1-5 MSG)
c.Distinguish the difference between facts and feelings or stories.
~“What specifically was said or done?”
~(Prov. 18:13 NLT) Start with facts not feelings.
3.Confrontation – Rather than ignoring unhealthy behaviors or accepting disconnection in relationships, courageously and lovingly take a step toward confrontation.
a.Confront the person’s behaviors, not the person’s intention.
b.Speak the truth in love, don’t just love telling the truth.
~(Eph. 4:15 NLT)
~(1 Cor. 13:7 AMP)
~(Eph. 4:29-32 MSG)
c.Listen understand, not to respond.
~(Prov. 18:2, 13J NLT)
~(Jas. 1:19 NLT)
4.Reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18-20)
a.(v18-19) God reconciled us to Himself in Jesus
~Jesus suffered the just penalty for sins
~Reconciliation is God’s justice
b.(v19) We have the message of reconciliation.
~We are to share this good news
~God’s not mad at us
c.(v20) Will you be reconciled to God?
~Believe, repent and receive
[Pastor Lee Stokes]