What to Look for in a Christian Mate

Sunday, February 6, 2022

I.5 Signs You May Not Be Ready for Marriage

A.The divorce rate in the US: 50-60% for 1st marriages, 70% for 2nd marriages, 90% for 3rd marriages.

         5 Signs You May Not Be Ready for Marriage:

#1      You love your independence and freedom to do what you want, when you want, how you want.

a.If you get married your money, possessions, time, and body are no longer yours! You must be accountable to your spouse every moment.

#2      Are you an unhappy single looking for marriage to make you happy?

a.If you are not happy with who you are, no one else can make you happy.

                  #3      Are you emotionally immature?

a.Do you hold grudges? Are you easily offended? Unable to forgive or ask others for forgiveness? Refuse to admit you’re wrong? Unable to control your tongue or anger? Hard time sustaining long-term relationships? Are you stressed out?

#4      Do you have unresolved issues, hurts or baggage from past relationships, trauma or childhood that you’re still carrying?

a.Some people are emotionally injured and seek healing before seeking a mate.

#5      You believe that if things get tough there is a way out of the marriage if I’m not happy.

a.If you go into marriage with a fire escape mentality, don’t get married.

II.What to Look for in a Christian Mate

A.What Christian Women Want in a Man

#1      Genuine Relationship with Jesus – (church attender vs. true Christian) Does he pray? Does he attend church#6? What does he believe? Is there evidence that he’s a real Christian?  Is he still going to the club with his boys? Is he constantly trying to get you to have sex?

#2      Goals, Direction & Purpose in Life – a man who knows what he wants out of life and is moving towards it.

a.(Prov. 29:18 KJV; Gen. 2:18)

#3      Solid Character – a man that keeps his word, that does what he says he will do.  Honest, truthful, trustworthy and faithful. The same way in private as in public.

#4      Confident – a man who is secure in who he is.

#5      Leader – is he a man who can lead me in life, in marriage, in family, in prayer.  Or is he passive about life or looking for me to lead him?

#6      Teachable – if he is weak in any area is willing to learn from other leaders and mentors?

B.What Christian Men Want in a Wife

#1      Relationship with Jesus – she should have a genuine personal relationship with Jesus.  A real relationship with Jesus will affect every decision and choice in life.

a.(2 Cor. 6:14-15)

#2      Sweet & Gentle – not combative and argumentative.  There are ways to disagree and voice your opinions without attitude and malice.

a.(1 Pet. 3:3-4 NASB; Prov. 21:9 NLT)

#3      Visually & Physically Attractive – you want a woman that stimulates you physically.

a.(2 Cor. 7:2-5 NLT)

#4      Supportive & Cooperative – you want a woman that will support, help develop your God-given dreams, goals and vision for life. “Team player.”

a.(Amos 3:3 NLT)

#5      Submissive – not passive.

a.(1 Cor. 11:3 ESV; Eph. 5:21-25 AMP)

#6      Best Friend

a.Qualities of good friendship

Things in common

Laugh & have fun together

Enjoy their company



You can be yourself around them

We can talk about EVERYTHING!

#7      Hard-worker – not lazy; willing to join in when necessary to help get the job done.

[Pastor Lee Stokes]


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