Man and Woman’s Needs
Wednesday, March 16 2022
I. Man and Woman’s Needs
A. A Man’s Needs
1.Honor
a.Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord (Eph. 5:22)
b.Men gravitate to where they get the most honor, whether it’s at home, work or somewhere else. Men will naturally avoid disrespect.
c.How to give your husband honor:
1.Allow him to make mistakes or fail (unless it’s self-destructive behavior).
2.Confront in love, but let God be the enforcer.
3.Honor him where you want him to be, not where he is (ref. Prov. 31)
4.Cover his faults and focus on his strengths. Honor always encourages.
2.Sex
a.Men give affection to get sex. Women give sex to get affection.
b.How to meet your husband’s need for sex.
1.Communicate to your husband that you accept his sexual needs and that you are committed to meeting them.
2.Men are visually and physically stimulated. Men want to see their wife’s body while most women are uncomfortable with their bodies.
3.Be more sexual than you feel and be creative. Men have the need for sex and women have the gift of sex. You spouse’s needs won’t always match your desires.
3.Fun and Friendship
a.Your husband will be open with you to the extent that you are having fun together.
b.How to establish friendship:
1.Be his friend and his wife, don’t mother him.
2.Find something in common that you both enjoy. Even if it’s not your favorite activity, do something that he enjoys.
4.Domestic Support at Home
a.Men need to do their equal share of the chores in the home, especially if both spouses work. A husband should give his best at his job and at home.
b.How to support your husband at home:
1.Women have the gift of nesting. A man needs his wife to create and maintain an atmosphere in their home that causes him to want to be there.
2.Women need to be domestically centered and diligent including the meals, housekeeping and homemaking.
B.A Woman’s Needs
1.Security
a.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. (Eph. 5:25 AMP)
b.Women feel most secure when they are married to a sacrificial, sensitive man. Women are most insecure when they are married to a selfish, detached man.
c.How to meet a woman’s need for security:
1.Communicate your commitment to sacrifice and meet her needs.
2.Be sensitive to your wife’s needs and don’t make her ask or beg to get her needs and desires met.
3.Be a faithful provider and money manager.
2.Non-Sexual Affection
a.Men give affection to get sex. Women give sex to get affection
b.The more soft, non-sexual affection women receive the more sexual they become.
This is very difficult for men to understand, but it’s true.
c.How to meet your wife’s need for non-sexual affection:
1. Be physically affectionate. She needs her husband to hold her hand, put his arm around her gently, hold her and cuddle her.
2. Listen to her when she tells you how she wants to be held.
3. Be gentle and patient. If a man is rough and aggressive, she will feel devalued.
3.Open and Honest Communication
a. Men give short headline answers, but a woman wants detailed answers. Just like men connect through fun and sex, she connects by sharing thoughts and feelings.
b. How to meet your wife’s need for communication:
1. Plan regular scheduled time to talk alone with your wife.
2. Be a good listener without distractions.
3. Answer questions fully and speak from your heart.
4. Leadership
a. Leadership means being the loving initiator without dominating the family.
b. How to meet your wife’s need for leadership:
1. Lead the children with consistent, loving discipline
2. Lead with romance. Make your wife feel special and loved.
3. Lead with finances. Oversee the finances and do not overspend.
4. Lead spiritually by attending church as a family and praying together.
