7 Foundations of a Healthy Marriage Part 5

Forgiveness – B

Sunday, September 8, 2019


 I. 7 Foundations of a Healthy Marriage

A.Understanding the Importance of Forgiveness (Review)

1. Family disputes are inevitable: Cain kills Abel; Noah and his son Canaan issue; Abram and Lot dispute; Abram, Sarai & Hagar dispute; Jacob and Esau dispute; Jacob, Leah, & father-in-law Laban issue; Jacob, Simeon, Levi and Dinah issue; Joseph and his brothers issue.

2.(Col. 3:13 NLT) we must forgive!

a.Forgiveness – is a choice not an emotion; to pardon, to free, to release of debt.

Forgiveness releases:

~The Debt to God.

~People to God and His righteous judgment.

~Me from being held hostage by tormentors.

~And restores love.



~Gives place to the devil

~Is poison in the heart.

c.Forgiveness is NOT trust, avoidance or forgetting.

B.Forgiveness in Marriage

1.Forgiveness in marriage mainly involves trespasses (sin/iniquities/trespasses).

a.Sin – Transgression of divine law; a willful or deliberate violation of moral law.

b.Iniquities – gross injustice, inequity or wickedness

c.Trespasses – an unlawful act causing injury to a person or property; wrongful entry upon the land of another; an encroachment or intrusion, offense, sin or wrong.

~Football off-sides is encroachment

~No Trespassing – Private Property

2.Trespasses are usually the issue in marriage.

a.We trespass on one another’s opinions, thoughts, ways of doing things, view on processing events.

 C. Confrontation

1.(Matt. 18:15-17 MSG)

~Preparation – Confrontation – Reconciliation


a.Value healthy relationships more than our feelings of comfort.

~We need each other!

~Strained relationships will naturally separate without work.

b.Confront your own heart before you confront someone’s behavior. (Matt. 7:1-5 MSG)

c.Distinguish the difference between facts and feelings or stories.

~“What specifically was said or done?”

~(Prov. 18:13 NLT) Start with facts not feelings.

3.Confrontation – Rather than ignoring unhealthy behaviors or accepting disconnection in relationships, courageously and lovingly take a step toward confrontation.

a.Confront the person’s behaviors, not the person’s intention.

b.Speak the truth in love, don’t just love telling the truth.

~(Eph. 4:15 NLT)

~(1 Cor. 13:7 AMP)

~(Eph. 4:29-32 MSG)

c.Listen understand, not to respond.

~(Prov. 18:2, 13J NLT)

~(Jas. 1:19 NLT)

4.Reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18-20)

a.(v18-19) God reconciled us to Himself in Jesus

~Jesus suffered the just penalty for sins

~Reconciliation is God’s justice

b.(v19) We have the message of reconciliation.

~We are to share this good news

~God’s not mad at us

c.(v20) Will you be reconciled to God?

~Believe, repent and receive


[Pastor Lee Stokes]


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