Marriage Maintenance
Securing Sexual Satisfaction
Wednesday, April 27, 2022
I. Getting “in the Flesh” while “staying in the Spirit” – Sex (truly) defined!
NKJV & Easy versions of: Heb 13:4, Acts 15:29
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled.
Do not have sex with anyone to whom you are not married.
The Act of Marriage (Sex) was designed by God to:
- Fulfill the command to produce fruit and multiply – Gen 1:27-28a
- Allow us to experience oneness with our mates – Matt 19:5 NIV
- Allow us to experience pleasure with our mates – 1Cor 7:1-5a
- Fulfill a husband & wife’s physical needs – Proverbs 5:18-19, Song of Solomon 1:2 & 2:6
Man: satisfaction of sexual drive, fulfillment of manhood, relieve tension, enhanced self-esteem, and deepening of love for wife
Woman: satisfaction of need for affection, fulfillment of womanhood, increased sense of desirability & security and deepening of love for husband
II. Spiritual Principles that apply to the Act of Marriage
A. Study and Understand your mate – (Wine and Cologne!)
1. His Study – Song of Solomon 7:8-9 ERV
2. Her Study – Song of Solomon 1:2-4 TLB
~Communicate openly and honestly with your spouse! Make no assumptions, ask questions for increased understanding, share desires, dislikes, fears and inhibitions regarding your intimate physical act to increase your overall intimacy (into-me-see)
B. Cultivate a Sowing and Reaping mentality with your mate- Gen 8:22
1. Try your best to please the other person more than yourself (sow a good seed!)
2. Practice! Practice! Practice! Great Lovemaking is an acquired skill! (invest the time!)
3. Believe and expect fulfillment and satisfaction both emotionally and physically (reap the harvest!)
C.Involve the Holy Spirit
1. Pray and invite Holy Spirit to participate in your expression of love for one another. Remember He is the Helper! John 16:7 AMP
2.Ask Him to overshadow and empower you as you share your bodies with one another. This is the best and only Three-some that is sanctioned by the scriptures! Ecc 4:12
III. Practical Provisions and Plans
A.Get rid of distractions
1. Engage in a private place- no phones, no kids, no distractions.
2. Set aside time in your schedule- avoid the rush, have a standing schedule if necessary to allow for consistency and to build anticipation!
B.Prepare yourself physically and mentally
1. Utilize special clothing, colognes, and perfumes, jewelry that is reserved especially for the boudoir and each other
2. Prepare the body: hair, nails, bathing, and brushing (teeth) – Song of Solomon 5:10-16 ERV
C. Set the mood via the creative use of: music, lighting, fireplace, bubble bath, shower, flowers, candles, incense, food
D. Utilize your mind & imagination. Be a 24 Hour Lover – intimate phone calls, poetry, notes, private pictures of one another. Remember that the mind (not the genitalia) is the most important organ to employ during lovemaking!
E.Use the “Oreo Cookie Principle” Participate amply in foreplay and enjoy intentional afterglow activities following the act. This allows you both to savor the sweetness of the intercourse in the middle!
F.More Tips…
1.Problems / Challenges
2. Improve / Enhance ( bag of tricks!)
3. Help / Resources (click here to see list)
Final Thoughts
A. Be Creative! Explore new ways of pleasing one another! Have fun! Role-play!
B. Be Spontaneous! Be willing to break from the routine position(s), times, and place.
C. Be Patient! With one another and the learning process!
[Pastors Joe and Rhonda Frazier]